Fuck Every Hipster: Archive

Fuck Every Hipster

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January 2012

1 post

Brilliant Submitted Post

I haven’t posted nearly at all. Mainly because I just haven’t felt inspired to post/I don’t feel like logging onto Tumblr/I’m doing other things. But I logged on today and found a brilliant submission! I wanted to honor the post and post in a post that I’m posting myself. BRILLIANT GENIUS: youre a faggot. i would fight you if i knew who you were Wow....

December 2011

1 post

TODAY IN RIDICULOUS MOMENTS OF HYPOCRISY

BON IVER’s JUSTIN VERNON has gone on record saying that he doesn’t support the Grammies, or what they stand for… …Says the guy who contributes his music to the Twilight soundtrack.

October 2011

3 posts

samonthewestcoast asked: was the BE concert great?

My Recent Absence

So, some of you may have noticed I haven’t been around for a little while. That’s because I’ve been working on an idea that I’m now prepared to “debut”. I’ve decided I’m going to start reviewing and promoting small-time musicians (and well known musicians) as a way to offer support. I’m sick of all of the bullshit “indie” websites...

thesaddestcat asked: There really isnt any way to word this without sounding like a prick, but finally someone on this fucking website is capable of writing something interesting.

September 2011

8 posts

curseofwomanhood asked: Hi, you're amazing. I laugh my jewish ass off with every post you make. You are the perfect blend of cynicism without narcism (yep, big words, are you impressed?). I'm seeing Bright Eyes next weekend but I'll never look at them the same ever again, still love them but will probably be thinking of your rant the entire time.

samonthewestcoast asked: hey do you live near la so that's why you went to the BE concert or what?

Just Thought I Would Let You Know

My friend took me with her to Bright Eyes last night at the Hollywood Forever cemetery. I thought everybody at the show was an asshole. But to all of you Conor fans who maybe missed the show and were upset about it (and who think I’m an asshole), I just wanted to point out that I went and you didn’t. SUCK IT BITCHES. Okay, I’m an asshole. Sorry.

eroticchestpunch asked: I really think your blog works well in the same vein as an editorial section of a magazine. (Especially with the images and the italicized captions). Your comebacks are zingers, rather than: "Well, you're an asshole because you like something that I don't like and that makes you the worst," but rather, armed by those same comments. It's rad. I kinda wanna see some reviews...

hellhole-ratface asked: no offense man, but you're pretty self-righteous.

train-under-h2o asked: Thanks for the follow:)
You're funny, even though I still love Conor Oberst

yzz asked: Your rants are really interesting to read. I may not agree with some of them, but nonetheless, I enjoy reading them. You seem like a very angry person.

so I was looking for some cool music to listen to. something folky, something singer songerwriter-y, shit like that. Thats what I was in the mood for. so i’m just previewing a bunch of garbage on last.fm which is the shittiest site ever ( I hate those fucking 30 second previews, but I guess in this case it was good so I didn’t have to listen to an entire track of bullshit.) There...

August 2011

3 posts

Fucking Fake People Are Fucking Annoying

So there is this girl I know who told me recently that this guy has been texting her and he’s super weird and she doesn’t want to talk to him. So I’m like, “okay then fucking don’t, why are you telling me this?”. And she’s like, “I’m so creeped out! Blah blah blah!”. So I say again, “alright just don’t fucking reply...

For the first time in a very long time I found my self upset. Eventually I calmed myself down and put whatever was making me upset in the past. I did this on a drive home by yelling at the stars. I’m interested to know how other people deal with anger, or depression, or confusion. What makes you feel good when you are upset?

Conor Oberst: Asshole Of The Century

A lot of people have read my post “Conor Oberst Is An Asshole” and probably assume I have an unjustified hate for this man, which is mostly true. Most of you probably have assumed I have not taken the time to listen to his music, which is not true. I thought’d I’d take the time to point out my top five Bright Eyes songs and why they don’t suck like most of the songs. ...

July 2011

31 posts

volgleven asked: when will you update your tumblr? i miss your posts :)

The State Of My Mind; Annoyance; Exhaustion Noted

I think everyone goes through periods of time where they don’t get much sleep. Maybe it’s because they are depressed, maybe it’s because they are bored, or maybe it’s because they just don’t like sleeping. Eventually it doesn’t even matter what the issue was to begin with because over time it becomes all three. I don’t know. But I’m sure everyone has...

NEW ELLIOTT SMITH SONG

Oh, glorious day. A new Elliott Smith has been released and it is A-Mazing. Go check it out here: http://pitchfork.com/news/43128-listen-to-an-unreleased-elliott-smith-song/ And once again, don’t forget to order the whole compilation. Word is there are more Elliott surprises to come…

Forward: Going To The Movies

I’m at the movies right now waiting to see Horrible Bosses. And I’m definitely going to do a post about annoying people in theatres when I get home. Dear The People Behind Me, shut your fucking mouths.

Reviews: Suggestions and Recommendations

This week I am going to be writing some reviews and I want to know what you want to see reviewed, so send me some suggestions and I will review as many as I can! I’ll also be making a post this week recommending music I like, so if you’re a musician please send me your stuff and I’ll include it in the post! For review suggestions, title your email “REVIEW SUG”. For...

connyxoberst asked: if i cared you talked shit on conor, i would have reblogged the first conor oberst is an asshole post and said something negative about it. i thought it was a funny story actually.
but you're not attacking conor anymore, you're attacking my friend.

EPISODE 5: THE HIPSTERS STRIKE BACK

I wasn’t going to do a new post today, but after I saw a recent reply to one of my posts I just couldn’t help it. If you don’t follow my blog or have begun reading this post out of context, go back a couple of pages, do some light reading, and catch up. Anyway, back to what was going on, I recently found this on my dashboard: Now let’s just take a moment to let this...

ohreallyamanda asked: So just reading through your blog.... i love it. Every little rant is great. :)

smokesigns-deactivated20110926 asked: thanks for the link! shit, this list of contributors just got longer, do you kinda get why I didnt believe it? ahhh

smokesigns-deactivated20110926 asked: It.. it just seems too good to be true. Ryan Adams, Josh Homme and Thomas Lauderdale all collaborating for the same cause?? And what's up with the Elliott Smith? (though for reasons unknown, deceased musicians do have a tendency to release music... I dunno, just weird that it'd be on a charity album).
Plus i cant find any mention of the album on the Outside In website? I'd...

seedinglove asked: your intelligent asshole persona must get you a lot of ladies.

sadly, there isn't even a slice of sarcasm in what i just said.

smokesigns-deactivated20110926 asked: Wow, that live from nowhere near you scam is really clever...

oberstcult asked: I apologize, when you said college, I assumed you meant bachelor's, not associate's.

oberstcult asked: Not possible if you saw the mystic valley band in high school.

oberstcult asked: sigh.. I like how you ignored my question of your education. So I take it I was right? and I think you are the one obsessed with me because I take up half of your blog.

Oberstcult Part IV: The Asshole Saga Continues

Oberstcult has continued, yet again, to prove her intelligence by responding to my posts on Tumblr. Let’s examine her newest response. First Oberstcult continues to make the assumption that I am hipster by claiming that I have admitted to be one in a previous post. This is false, I only said I would become a hipster if it meant it would further our romantic relationship. Second, she...

Exciting News For All You Conor Fans

Coming out soon is a compilation featuring unreleased and rare tracks by artists like Elliott Smith, Conor Oberst/Bright Eyes, Ryan Adams, Modest Mouse, The Strokes, and fucking like a hundred other people. There are TWO new Elliott Smith tracks going to be released, one featuring Elliott and Joel from The Decemberists. Sounds incredible. The album’s profits all go to charity and it’s...

Oberstcult: Hipster Asshole

Oberstcult doesn’t give up. And that’s a quality we should all admire. Upon waking up and finding several questions in my inbox, I also found yet another response from my favorite Tumblrerer, “oberstcult”. I find she has a way with words, and I think that if we met in real life we would probably be best friends. Maybe even more than that. One can only hope. First, I...

So I woke up this morning and logged on to find a few questions, which is fantastic, because I fucking love questions. I thought I’d make a post and answer a few of them the best I could. First, let’s just get the shitty question out of the way. What is it with you people and fucking irony? Do you really think this hard about these things? And by the way, what’s with you...

Dear Nike, FUCK YOU.

From this day on I vow to never wear a single piece of Nike clothing. Ever. Nor will I ever support any event or product sponsored by you. I’m sick of your bull shit. President of Nike. I refuse to wear a brand that supports such assholes as Michael Vick, or Tiger Woods. Two of the shittiest people around, both representing the same shitty brand. MICHAEL VICK First. This asshole. ...

tumblrbot asked: WHERE WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO VISIT ON YOUR PLANET?

A Night With Sufjan Stevens

I’m not going to lie. I’m a Sufjan Stevens fan. I think his stuff is pretty great. And when I heard he was going on tour last year I was super excited. So, like any good fan, I bought tickets the second they became available. One for me, and one for my girlfriend at the time. Now my girlfriend wasn’t the biggest Sufjan fan, but she could appreciate his music and she was excited...

mariahcastillo asked: Just thought I would tell you that you have a new follower.
I read your bit on Conor Oberst. I wept while reading it. I then proceeded to visit your page, and cry some more, marveling at the beauty of your infinite wisdom.
Long story short, I look forward to your future posts.

leftovercrizack asked: oberstcult needs to chill the fuck out. conor oberst is an asshole. pretty sure everyone including fans are well aware of that

volgleven asked: Thanks for the recommendations! I love Elliot Smith! I haven't listened to some of those bands, so I'll be sure to check them out.
Hm, I would recommend Beirut, Generationals, Josh Ritter and for kicks- The Lonely Island. Oh and The Weepies are my guilty pleasure. Enjoy!

The Tree Of Life Review

So the other day I decided I would go see “The Tree Of Life” before it left theatres. I had been looking forward to it for a while and it sounded like a great movie. Plus, the critics were giving it rave reviews. I was expecting see an instant classic. Instead I got a thirty minute sequence that included some jellyfish swimming around and bunch of dinosaurs. EXT. Desert - Day. Sean...

Re: Re: Conor Oberst Is An Asshole

Alright… I’m try to make my next response easy to read. First, I’d like to point out how much of a hipster you are by saying “problem?”. Second, Coldplay is a mom band. Third, yes. In middle school I wanted to be like other kids I looked up to. This was because I was in middle school and also because I was in fucking middle school. And I hadn’t just started...

volgleven asked: i have enjoyed reading your posts :)
you mention music a lot, so any band/artist that you highly recommend?
i'll try to not shrug it off, although i'm a Conor Oberst fan, ahaha!

Re: Conor Oberst Is An Asshole

Just thought I’d respond to one of the responses to my post “Conor Oberst Is An Asshole”. Or should I say three responses because they edited it three fucking times before they decided it was annoying enough to leave. First I will respond to this one. I guess that would be the long story short if you want to be a Conor Oberst fucking love festival. And yes she did dump me. But...

Every Teardrop Is A Waterfall Sucks Balls

I haven’t always had the great fucking taste in music that I have now. In fact, before my sophomore year in high school the only thing I listened to were movie scores and one edited Blink 182 CD that some family member no one invited to my birthday party probably bought for me. In middle school my friend had an iPod and because I was a fucking kid in middle school I wanted what other kids...

Conor Oberst Is An Asshole

So when I was in high school I dated a girl that loved Conor Oberst. And she didn’t just “love” Conor Oberst like I love pizza. She loved Conor Oberst in the creepy way where if she met him in an alleyway she would probably let him rape her mouth. Okay, now I realize she might love him in the way I love pizza because in a sense I do let pizza rape me in the mouth. But she would...