Jul. 2, 2011 at 6:43am with 7 notes
NikeSucksIs ShitMichael VickTiger WoodsASsholes
Dear Nike, FUCK YOU.

From this day on I vow to never wear a single piece of Nike clothing. Ever. Nor will I ever support any event or product sponsored by you. I’m sick of your bull shit.

President of Nike.

I refuse to wear a brand that supports such assholes as Michael Vick, or Tiger Woods. Two of the shittiest people around, both representing the same shitty brand.

MICHAEL VICK

First. This asshole. 

In 2007 he was caught running an underground dog fighting ring. Basically he would torture and abuse several dogs, then throw two in a cage, force them to fight, and bet on which one would die! What a wonderful guy. Oh and if the dog didn’t perform well, he’d just kill it himself.

When they finally caught up with this shit, forty nine , yes, forty nine dogs were seized from his properties. Two of the dogs were so badly abused and fucked up that they had to be put down.

Oh, and a few assholes actually stood up for him. 

Now recently, you’ve decided Michael Vick has learned his lesson and is needed back on the ol’ Nike roster to teach those kids some morals. REALLY? YOU COULDNT FIND ONE FUCKING PERSON OUT OF THE ENTIRE NFL THAT WAS A BETTER PERSON TO TEACH KIDS ABOUT MORALS?? ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED?

Why do I even ask? You are fucking retarded.

So my deal with you is if you put Michael Vick into a cage with 40 hungry and abused dogs and let him sit in there for 30 minutes I will wear Nike for the rest of my life, every day.

TIGER WOODS

You didn’t even bother dropping this asshole from your awesome roster only to reinstate him later. I guess you thought a piece of shit who cheats on his wife and family was correctly portraying the Nike image.

So my deal with you on this one is if you, the president of Nike, personally let Tiger fuck you. I will wear Nike for the rest of my life.

IN CONCLUSION

Since I doubt you’re going to let Michael Vick be mauled to death or let Tiger Woods give you syphilis, I’m just going to stop wearing Nike. Which doesn’t actually affect me because you make shitty clothing and I’m not a 40 year guy who thinks golf is fun to watch on TV. 

I’m happy with Adidas, and I’m glad to see most of the NBA making the switch to Adidas. 

Fuck you Nike. How about you teach the kids a good moral lesson by not paying assholes who make shitty decisions and paying good people who are real role models. Oh, wait, because you don’t give a shit about morals.

  1. fuckeveryhipster posted this