Oberstcult has continued, yet again, to prove her intelligence by responding to my posts on Tumblr. Let’s examine her newest response.
First Oberstcult continues to make the assumption that I am hipster by claiming that I have admitted to be one in a previous post. This is false, I only said I would become a hipster if it meant it would further our romantic relationship.
Second, she claims that my only insult is calling someone an “asshole”. This is also false, I use lots of insults. I also never insulted her by calling her an asshole. Instead I have made it her pet name, like when a guy calls a girl babe. I call her asshole.
Third, she extends an invitation to me to visit her blog and spend more than a second on it, assuming I care about her personal life. Of course, if it makes you want me more, then I care deeply and I’ll make it up to you asshole.
Fourth, another assumption that I care.
Fifth, she claims that I desire to be a professional music blogger or “something”. Forgets I just made a Tumblr yesterday.
Sixth, she attempts to insult me one more time by calling me a hipster.
Fascinating stuff people. Oberstcult, aka Mrs. fuckeveryhipster, continues to obsess over my posts and me, begging me to join her hipster ways and spend nights with her, making out, listening to Bright Eyes on a record player despite the invention of the fucking computer, while expressing our hate for pop music. It really is true love.
But wait, there is more. Mrs. fuckeveryhipster has a Tumblr friend who defends her honor.
First, I’d like to point out that northemdownpour is clearly a fucking Canadian, as expressed in her use of the phrase, “eh?”. Not that it matters. I just thought I’d point it out.
Second, this is true, Mrs. FEH has nothing to prove to me. I already love her.
Third, this is also true, don’t listen to me. We’ve been talking too much. Let’s let our bodies do the talking. I’ll be your “lover you don’t have to love”, if you will. Your “yellow bird”. Your dream come true.
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