So there is this girl I know who told me recently that this guy has been texting her and he’s super weird and she doesn’t want to talk to him. So I’m like, “okay then fucking don’t, why are you telling me this?”. And she’s like, “I’m so creeped out! Blah blah blah!”. So I say again, “alright just don’t fucking reply then!”. Then she says, “I don’t know what to do!”, and once again I’m like, “ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED JUST DON’T REPLY HOW HARD IS THIS”. And of course she’s like, “what should I do?”.
At this point I’ve decided that this girl is just a fucking retard who isn’t “creeped out” but instead so far up her own asshole she can’t hear anything but the hollow reverberation of her own voice in the area of her head where her brain was supposed to be.
Despite my efforts to ignore everything she is saying she goes on to tell me a story about how this guy who is texting her once hit on her and tried to “get with her” and now he’s probably going to try again and it’s really weird, and of course instead of not fucking replying she continues to text this guy back. I assume the conversation is going something like this:
Supposed creep: Hey!
Girl (to me): OMG, this creep is talking to me! LOL I’m a bitch.
Girl (in text to guy: Hey ;) how r u?
As if this girl wasn’t coming off as enough of a bitch she then gets yet another text, which fucking DEVASTATES her. How awful it must be having people who want to talk to you. She tells me “OMG this guy who likes me from my church totally just saw us, and I didn’t say hi I feel like such a jerk! but he’s so weird and he likes me” so I say “okay who fucking cares? I seriously do not understand what the fucking problem is. if he likes you and you don’t then just tell him that you don’t fucking like him! What’s the issue?” so she’s like, “blah blah blah because I’m a bitch”.
Are you guys getting the picture now with this girl? Okay. I’ll move on.
So today I’m on Facebook, just browsing, and I decide to visit her profile. I see two things.
FIRST THING:
The first thing I see is a comment from “the creep”, so I’m like “woah, I wonder what she said”. Since she doesn’t like this guy and he’s supposedly creepy I bet she isn’t going to be flirting with him or asking him to hang out or anything. Wait, just kidding. SHE JUST DID BOTH OF THOSE THINGS. What the fuck? This is great because I guaranfuckingtee that next time I see her she will be like “OMG I have to hang out with him and he’s probably going to rape me! I’m so fucking gorgeous and irresistible that everybody wants to fucking rape me!” and I’m going to have to say “then don’t hang out with him” and she’ll say “But I caaannn”’ttttt noootttt or I’ll look like a jeeeerrrrrkkk” and I’ll fucking jump out of my own moving car.
SECOND THING:
The second thing I see are at least THREE statuses dedicated to this guy who “likes” her but she doesn’t like back. Apparently she changed her fucking mind because her and him have been having the adventure of a lifetime for the past three days, and they are great enough adventures that she felt compelled to post it on facebook and let us all know how fucking amazing he is and their adventures together are. This is cool because next time I see her she’ll be like “you’re not going to beeliieeve this guy I haaad to hang out with and he likes meee and I can’t do anything about it!”
THIRD BONUS THING:
When this girl and I started hanging out she let me know how she deactivated her facebook because it was “too much trouble” to handle and she’s “above it all”. Great for her. She also told me how she un-deactivated it temporarily and one of her exes posted on her wall like “hey we should hang out I miss you”. She told me she “freaked out” and had to deactivate her facebook again because “he’s such a scumbag and I hate him blah blah blah bitch”. Funny story though… Now that she’s back on he posts again! Except this time she replies “okay ;) I’d love that”. What the fuck happened to “I hate this guy he ruined me!”. I guess he wasn’t that bad.
So what should you take from this? Nothing. I just wanted to rant about how fucking annoying this girl is and how fucking fake she is and how much she fucking bugs me and I don’t why we are even fucking friends.
Fake people are annoying. Anyone have any rant worthy fake people stories you’d like to get off of your chest? I’m all ears.
-
okeedokeeartichokee liked this
-
thinklikeashipwreck liked this
-
isameditativerose reblogged this from fuckeveryhipster and added:
died. ahahahahahahahaha
-
alipstick-stain liked this
-
v3nom0us liked this
-
train-under-h2o liked this
-
zooeyfranny liked this
-
fuckeveryhipster posted this
